In my experience, prayers for situations to change often do not happen; prayers for a clear path to take often do not happen; prayers for the removal of a sin issue often do not happen (although they all can happen). What seems to always yield good fruit, however, are prayers for changes in a heart issue. When I pray for GOD to give me gratitude, or strength, or respect for myself, I often, if not always, see those prayers answered - and sooner rather than later. It’s almost as if GOD cares less about the cessation of our sins than he does about the state of our souls. It’s almost as if He cares less about what we don’t do than he does about who we are.
As I thought through this, it struck me that - as we know - our sins are paid for (see: Bible). So, essentially, that’s all going to hash out eventually. GOD knows we don’t like our sinning, and He has already dealt with that. But the beauty of the cross didn’t necessarily add the things to our character that we lack. He has removed the things that need to be removed (if we let Him), but that doesn’t mean we have taken the steps to become all that we can be. When we leave this world and enter heaven, I believe our sins will be gone, those broken parts of ourselves will be gone, but that doesn’t mean we will instantaneously become all that we could have become. Someone who was in no way philanthropic will not suddenly become a great philanthropist upon passing through the pearly gates.
It also struck me that we often try to deal with sin allopathically rather than homeopathically. We look at our sinful arm and try to cut it off. “Whew! Now I can’t do that sin anymore - now that I’m armless!” or we try to fix our selfishness by saying “STOP BEING SELFISH!!!!!!!” But even if these tactics worked, the root cause of the sin still would not be changed. Whatever caused us to sin will still be there, the same as always, and will likely result in other damaging behavior, if the first damaging behavior happens to be adequately dealt with.
What would be vastly more helpful would be to look deep within ourselves - see what is causing these behaviors and patterns of brokenness and sin. There is some lack or need or wrongly held perception that causes each one of our unfruitful behaviors/attitudes. If we can find those parts of ourselves, get to know them, showing ourselves empathy and understanding, caring even… we can then adjust those deep wounds, those basic misconceptions, maladaptations and wrongly held beliefs (often the very act of realizing them will bring us great steps toward this essential healing) and our actions can then be truly healed - from the inside out. And GOD, I believe, is always more than happy to help, bless, and guide us in this process - if we want Him to.
If you want any pointers in this area - you’re in luck! These have proved very helpful in my life:
- Take a month, two months, three months, and journal (you may have to make yourself journal) - going one by one through things that you have either done in the past, or that you still do today that you aren't proud of. But allow yourself to do it without judgment. This isn’t about self-flagellation! Beginning with each of these not-great behaviors or attitudes, search yourself to locate the need you felt that drove said behavior. Write about it. This will both a) help you to have empathy for yourself, and b) bring to light the deeper issues that drive your own personal brand of brokenness (we all have one!).
- When you have gone through Part 1, take the next couple of months to journal about the aspects of yourself you are the most proud of, the things that you enjoy about yourself - the good parts of you. By first shining a light on the shadow side, you will reduce its power - acknowledging and coming to understand it will minimize it and its need to express itself. Then shining a light on the side of your strength and beauty will allow it to flourish. This can also help you see and discern what your gifts are, what things bring you joy, and the ways you could best help others and make the most of your time on earth.
- Ask GOD a question. This is best done somewhere quiet, without distractions. The first question I suggest is: “What misconception am I carrying?” It is a simple question. After asking it, just wait. You may need to do this more than once, or you may get an answer quickly. GOD speaks to people in many varying ways, so be open to however He chooses to speak to you. This is something you can do more than once throughout your life. There will likely always be more misconceptions to uncover.
- Ask Him other questions. My two favorites are: a) “What do I not understand about You?” and b) “What do I not understand about me?” Again, this one will likely be beneficial to do more than just once, and it can bring great alignment to areas of our lives in which we walk around getting blisters because our shoes aren't on the right way.
- As you go through life and through this process, if certain issues about yourself come to light (e.g. I expect too much of myself, or I think too much about myself and not enough about others, or I don't trust that GOD wants the best for me), take those specific issues before GOD. Ask Him to change those parts of you (not “GOD, please help me to stop yelling at my kids,” but “GOD, please help me to stop feeling worthless every time I make a mistake.”) GOD is strong enough to do anything, but if what we want is to continually scrape off the surface grossness of featured sins, we will never really be changed, never really be healed, and we likely won’t ever come to terms with who we truly are - allowing our wounds to heal and gifts to flourish. We also won't be able to become all that GOD can make us… if we learn how to ask the right questions.
None of these tasks may, necessarily, sound appealing, but they can all bring us huge steps forward in our paths of personal healing, and in correcting our wrongly held beliefs - about ourselves, about life, and about GOD.
Happy Processing!
